


The Chilling Suicide Epidemic of Westerburg High

by rainbowblue13



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Conspiracy Theories, Gen, Suicide mentions, i was on a bfu kick and i havent seen someone do a fake bfu ep with heathers so here we are, murder mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 08:43:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20618213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowblue13/pseuds/rainbowblue13
Summary: If what happened in Heathers was a case on Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime, this is what it would look like.





	The Chilling Suicide Epidemic of Westerburg High

**Author's Note:**

> \- TW: discussions of suicide, murder, and occasionally crude humor (like what you'd see in heathers)  
\- so this is. super self indulgent afgahdsj  
\- i actually havent watched heathers in a while so a couple of the case facts may be wrong but im playing that off as ryan not doing his proper research oops  
\- the format might be Ugly i apologize

_This week in True Crime we're going to be looking into The Chilling Suicide Epidemic of Westerburg High._

**In Sherwood, Ohio, 1989, five senior students from Weterburg High attempted suicide, all within the same year: Heather Chandler, Ram Sweeney, Kurt Kelly, Martha Dunnstock, and Jason Dean. Heather Chandler was the most popular girl in the school, reported as being the leader of a clique with Heather Duke and Heather McNamara—**

Wh— wait, what?

Hahaha yeah!

How?? There's no way. How do they all have the same name? That's—

Yeah, that- that's quite a coincidence.

What if (wheeze) what if only two of them were called Heather and then the third one is like "Hi, I'm Monica" and—

They're like "That's not gonna work here."

Doesn't have the- the same ring to it.

Hahaha— well, their legal names _are_ actually Heather. Like, in all the files and stuff.

"You're going to change your name to Heather _legally._"

"Let's go to the DMV right now!"

Hahahaha

**People referred to them as "The Heathers" although they later took on an additional member named Veronica Sawyer**   


That name's gonna be really important later, remember that.

Wait so they're not all named Heather?

All except for Veronica–

They're a fraud!

Hahaha

She's the only one that gets to stand out, that's so unfair!

**Ram Sweeney hosted a house party when his dad was absent, where all but one of the students that attempted suicide were present. T**   
** he morning after the house party, Heather Chandler was found in her room, having drinked a mug of liquid drain cleaner. The police found a suicide note where she left most of her belongings to charities and said that no one knows, I quote, "the me inside of me." People were very confused by her suicide since she was the most popular person at Westerburg High, but this tragic death was only the beginning. A few days after her death, Kurt and Ram were found in the local cemetery stripped down to their underwear, having supposedly shot each other. They also had a suicide note, where they confessed to having been in a secret relationship with each other.**   


Wait, they were naked?? Did they shoot each other naked?

In their underwear, but yeah. Is _that_ what you're focusing on?

It's just, do you think they uh, y'know...

I don't know. 

It seems weird that like... if you're gonna do a suicide pact with your significant other, and you wanna do the do one last time, why go to a cemetery?

It's kind of poetic, I guess? It's weird, but–

How awkward if you're just going to visit grandma's plaque.

(wheeze)

And there's just, these two— wait, isn't one of these two the one that hosted the party?

Yeah, they're all part of the popular circle, that's why people were so freaked.

**Days later, Martha Dunstock, who witnesses claimed had a huge crush on Ram since they had dated in kindergarten—**   


Well, that didn't go well for her.

Yeah, I'd— I'd say the chances of rekindling that old flame are kind of— kind of fucked.

He has other interests.

**Days later, Martha Dunstock, who witnesses claimed had a huge crush on Ram since they had dated in kindergarten jumped off Milbreek Bridge, but miraculously survived the attempt. It's interesting to note that this was the first suicide attempt that didn't leave a note, and the only one to survive. Finally, the suicide epidemic of Westerburg ended with a bang. Jason Dean, whose father was the owner of a demolition company, took a homemade bomb to the school's pep rally and detonated it. However, he did so in a large empty field, and there were no casualties, though police did find packers underneath the bleachers of the gym where the pep rally was taking place, leading most to theorize that Jason Dean was planning to take many others with him but changed his mind in the end. He also did not leave a note and was the only one of the five who didn't attend Ram's party.**   


Jesus Christ!

It's— that's one way to do it.

Like, all the others are sort of standard methods, but— Jesus Christ!

It's definitely interesting that they all used different methods.

How did he get all those packers in the gym?

Well I mean— this was pre-Columbine, so security wasn't really, uh, not like it is now.

Okay yeah, fair.

**While the official police statement is that all of these suicides were isolated incidents, many find it too coincidental and believe that there's something else at work.**   


I'm gonna be genuinely offended if you try to pin these tragic teen suicides on aliens

There's actually no alien theories.

Oh thank god

Some wacky ones, but no aliens.

Hit me with 'em

**The first theory, that these were all suicides with no connection to each other, is the one presented by Sherwood police since each one had a different method, location, and alleged motive. However, there are some odd details in these cases that arent explained by this theory. For starters, the fact that they were all from the same senior class, and that they all knew each other previously from unpleasant circumstances. The Heathers, Kurt, and Ram were all known for bullying multiple students, including Martha. They would call her names such as "Martha Dumptruck" or comment on her weight.**   


That's such a dumb insult by the way.

Yeah, if you're gonna make fun of someone–

Which we do not condone.

Right, yeah, but like, if you _insist_ on doing so–

Hahaha

At least be creative. put a lil' brain into it

Coming from us, the ones with the shittiest attempts at insulting each other.

Speak for yourself, my insults are- they're poetic

(wheeze) I think we have different definitions of that word.

**Kurt and Ram were also known to constantly harass Jason Dean, even escalating into physical fights, and calling him homophobic slurs.**   


A tad ironic, considering

Wh– (wheeze) I mean, that's something that doesn't really add up either.

I mean, some people internalize it and all, and they did wanna keep it secret, so— not excusing beating up people or anything but, that's one hell of a cover

There are a few more things that don't add up, you'll see.

**There's also the other link that ties in all of these tragedies together: Veronica Sawyer. Not only was she one of The Heathers, but she was also Martha's childhood friend and Jason Dean's girlfriend.**   


What a terrible fucking week for her

I mean, yeah, but also... suspicious.

Wh- Ryan!

Hahaha it _is!_

Two of her friends and her boyfriend bite the dust, she's probably traumatized, and you're just—

Hahaha

You're terrible

You're telling me it's not weird that— y'know what, listen some more and you might change your mind.

**There were also claims that she had been involved with Kurt and Ram, but these were dismissed as pure rumors. It should be pointed out that there were many reports of Kurt and Ram being involved with many girls well into high school, which is suspicious based on the nature of their suicide note and pact.**   


They're bisexual, Ryan!

(wheeze) They said gay in the note! But it was a while ago, maybe they didn't know the word yet

Exactly

That— I mean yeah, that is a possibility, the dads didn't question it much and— hahaha

What? What's so funny?

Yeah, little, uh, little tangent here. Kurt and Ram's dads actually ended up together after—

WHAT?

After— (wheeze) actually, I think it was _during_ the kids' joint funeral? They confessed their love to each other

That's— hahaha, that's the best thing I've ever heard

Silver linings, y'know?

Yeah that cheered me up a bit

**The second theory is that all the suicides were actually murders framed as suicides. People believe that the one responsible may have been Jason Dean himself. He had a troubled home life, with his mother dying when he was very young and having to move around a lot as a child. He would have the motivation for each of these deaths, as a twisted way of showing his love for his girlfriend at the time, Veronica.**   


I don't know about you but every time that there's like, even in shows and movies, but the whole "I murdered these people because I love you!" I'm always like "Have you considered flowers?"

"Maybe some poetry"

(wheeze) Maybe having sex in a graveyard.

SHANE

Hahaha sorry, I'm sorry, that was in poor taste.

Too soon, man. but I agree.

Yeah I just, I don't find murder romantic, personally. To each their own, I guess.

Wh- no, it's a _crime_, you can't just— "Why did you kill her??" "Well, to each their own!"

Hahaha "Cool motive, still murder."

**Heather Chandler, the night before she was found dead, reportedly got into an argument with Veronica at Ram's party. JD may have killed her that night for threatening Veronica, since after Veronica left there would've been plenty of time for her to tell JD what happened, for him to go to Chandler's house, kill her, and leave a fake note to cover it up. The next deaths are also easily explained by this theory. Kurt and Ram did bully him and even assault him physically, and the rumor that they had been involved with Veronica would've definitely put them on JD's hitlist. He could've tricked them into coming to the cemetery, forcing them to undress at gunpoint, and then shoot them. The note revolving around them being lovers may have been JD's sense of irony bleeding through the fake note.**   


Okay so this kinda holds up so far, though I'm not sure how they wouldn't have seen that the fingerprints on the gun were someone else's

I mean, they thought it was a suicide pact- and to be fair, there have been plenty of instances on this show of the police not doing their job thoroughly

I- oh shit, you're right

**At this point in time, Veronica and JD's relationship was most likely very toxic if this theory is correct. He may have gotten paranoid about being caught or wanted Veronica all to himself. Either way, his next target would've been Martha Dunnstock. He could've pushed off the bridge, though he messed up by not leaving a fake note and not making sure she was dead. However, Martha reports that she jumped of her own free will and that she was alone on that roof.**   


So the theory falls apart, good run though

Can you wait for like five seconds for me to finish?

I interrupt Ryan, it's why I'm here

(sigh)

For my zany humor

**However, it's since JD was already dead by the time she made a statement. It's possible that she lied about his involvement to protect Veronica.**   


In this theory, does Veronica know? That he's murdering people left and right?

It depends on who's theorizing. Maybe she found out halfway through and was too scared to say anything. But it's very likely that if this theory is correct she knew by the end.

**We know JD was planning to blow up the school at the pep rally based on the packers found in the gym. However, he changed his mind and instead blew up in the football field with no other casualties. There was the odd fact that the night of the pep rally, JD told people that Veronica had killed herself, even though she made an appearance at the pep rally later that night looking like she was in a hurry, perhaps to stop him. He may have tried to kill her and play it off as a suicide like his other murders, but she survived and talked him out of blowing up the school.**   


So, this theory is pretty solid, I think.

Yeah, I mean— it IS possible they were all just suicides, suicide epidemics happen, but this is also plausible.

Yeah, exactly.

The only real holes are Veronica's friend who said— and how he pulled off some of the finer details.

It's also possible he killed Chandler, Kurt, and Ram, and Martha did actually attempt suicide.

Also, I feel obligated to say this- this is a depressing episode.

It really is, yeah, makes you go like "oh shit."

Can't wait for you to pull out your b.atshit insane stuff to brighten the mood

We- we'll get to that, don't worry.

_The third theory is similar, but with one key difference: that JD and Veronica were both in on the murders as partners in crime_   


No

I haven't even started!

This poor girl has EVERYONE she knows die or almost die and you wanna accuse her of murder? Ryan! Have you no shame?

By the end of this theory, you're gonna be taking that back.

You're terrible!

**Veronica had just as much motivation as JD to go after the victims. Heather Chandler threatened to ruin her life, and Kurt and Ram both spread sexual rumors about her. She would've struggled less to pull off these murders since she was friends with Chandler and, as one of the popular kids, could've convinced Kurt and Ram to meet her at the cemetery. Martha's suicide attempt is still hard to tie to this theory, but there are a few possible explanations. As Veronica's best friend, Martha may have been too close to finding out the truth, and JD went behind Veronica's back to "deal with the situation," or perhaps with Veronica and JD wrapped up in their killing spree, Martha may have felt left behind and that's what drove her over the edge.**   


That high school moment when your bestie is too busy killing people to spend time with you.

(wheeze) Oh my god.

"Come on, just kill him! It's not that big a deal!" "But my mom told me it's bad, I shouldn't" "Oh are you scaaaared?"

"Everyone's doing it!"

**If JD went after Martha, or Veronica simply changed her mind, she may have coerced or tricked JD into killing himself at the pep rally rather than blowing up the school. Now, there is one big reason that people have latched onto this theory because this one detail is too specific to be a coincidence. The second theory, that JD was acting alone, does beg the question "How were all of these murders covered up as suicides?" It should be noted that a known skill of Veronica's, and the primary reason she was invited to join the Heathers, is forgery. Which would give her the means of writing all the fake suicide letters that JD wouldn't.**   


Well, that's— just cause you can fake your parent's signature doesn't mean you're a mass murderer.

No, but it _is_ suspicious that all of these were ruled suicides because of the suicide notes that she could've easily faked. and if Martha was pushed by JD, or if she acted on her own, that explains the lack of a note. And JD's death would've been self-explanatory because of the packers.

Hm

You can't say it's _not_ a possibility.

I'll— I don't think it's what happened but I can see why people would. Her main thing being forgery is a bit– well–

It's suspicious!

I mean-

Admit it, I was right, it's shady.

Well, now you're just gloating.

Some shady shit going on here. And speaking of shady shit, our final theory!

The first ones have been pretty reasonable so I- I don't know what anyone else could've come up with.

Try to guess. I dare you

You said it's not aliens but- just, just get it over with. How bad can it be?

**The final theory is one that there's not much about on the internet: that an experimental drug from Japan broke loose at the party, infecting some of the students who attended, and causing the suicide epidemic.**   


...

So there's- there's that.

Bergara.

(wheeze)

_Bergara_.

I know, I know, just hear out the rest-

(shuffling sounds) Nope.

Shane, don't leave! Hahaha

(more shuffling noises) Do you actually believe it?

No, it's too sci-fi for me, but it's fun to think about-

When has anything ever been "too sci-fi" for you??

Shut up, Shane.

**There is a lot of mystery surrounding this drug, which I wasn't even able to find a name for, but there are rumors of this drug causing extremely bizarre behavior that has seemingly no other explanation, maybe even pushing whoever's infected into killing themselves. After the drug began to spread JD, who wouldn't have been infected since he didn't attend the party, may have found out about this drug and chose to quarantine and nip it in the bud. This theory claims Veronica was infected as well but found a sort of cure, which explains why JD thought she attempted suicide that night and how she convinced him to not blow up the school. The police stick to claiming they were all unrelated suicides because the government covered up the real cause.**   


That's- you're unbelievable.

I don't think this theory checks out, it's all speculative-

And all bullshit

(wheeze) You never know!

_Were all of these deaths simply a tragedy, or a coverup of crimes? Whatever caused these poor teenagers to do what they did, the case will remain... unsolved._

**Author's Note:**

> \- yes the final theory is a bmc reference, what about it?  
\- i dont even know who the target audience is for this fic adgfha  
\- anyway i hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
